Kimputer's Weblog

This is the high energy part of the Grindhouse double feature. Broken apart outside the States, we have to watch it seperately, and deal with the loss of fake trailers shot by guest directors (no need to wait for the whole credits to roll out, it’s not there). While that’s saddening news we did get one before the movie, but since we’re paying twice as much as the Americans, I’d expect all of them to be included. With that expectation out of the way, Planet Terror does terrorise you. It’s definitely a higher quality gore slasher, with the usual buckets of blood and other slimy human tissue, but also some off the charts drama and humor. It’s a nice combo, and Rodriguez makes the most of his screen time (a great contrast to his counterpart Tarantino, who wasted about 90% of his screen time). As said, for its genre it’s quite good, but as a movie itself, the enjoyment is slightly barred by the lack of indepth story telling.7+.

“What kinda scary abbreviation is that ?” you might ask yourself. Don’t bother googling it. I just found out I was suffering it (guess I never looked at my arms that carefully during shower, or I just showered for the first time this summer). Either way, I needed to name it, so, in full it’s Car Driver Discoloration Syndrome.
Here’s a picture:

Basically, it’s the discoloration of the left arm (darker tone than the right arm), due to it hanging out the car window during sunny weather. I wonder if other people suffer from it too, or that I’m the only one. Maybe I should setup a discussion group, or an online forum. How to live with such a disgraceful abomination ? And if it turns out the be global, do the crazy Brits need their own abbreviation (rCDDS, as in reversed CDDS, so you know which arm is in play here) ?

Hyper cop duo Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker push away the undercover one-man show this week. Rush Hour 3 didn’t suffer any traffic jams at the top, with a total income of $50.2 million. While respectable, it’s about 72% short of Rush Hour 2’s opening.
Bourne Ultimatum has to do with the runner-up spot, this week with $33.7 million, an expected 51% drop, but still a more than satisfying $132 million cume.
At the third place, The Simpsons take $11.1 million home, now crossing the $150 million total mark. At number 4 is another new release, fantasy story Stardust doesn’t magically sway people to the theatre, a somewhat disappointing $9 million for this mid-high budget movie.
Rounding out the top 5 is Underdog, staying true to its title it only gains another $6.4 million.

Here’s the biggest smashing TV hit (in my opinion) of this summer. Airing on FX, where I don’t watch a lot of shows (The Shield and The Wire bored me a bit, if not irritated me to the bone), those shows are known to push the envelope.
And that’s what you have here. Intrigue, suspense and mostly, characters. Story seems unfolds on flashbacks, but it’s actually the main show. The current time actually moves slowly forward only inch by inch, so the flash-forwards combined with the backstory provide the ultimate kick.
Story surrounds a big media splashing prosecution (think Enron), and we see multiple sides of how it unfolds. Mainly the prosecutor, in the form of Glenn Close, playing one of the most vicious bitch you’ve ever seen (if you think Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada was bad, triple that). Then we have a new associate starting in the prosecutor’s office, and a mysterious bond somehow linking her with the opposite party. Combined is a dark gritty thrillery series, strong on story telling and character development and manipulation. Even if the story was bad, the character would still carry the show, that’s how good it is.

Sequel to Bruce Almighty, then headlined by Jim Carrey, we basically have the same crew behind it. Tom Shadyac is behind the camera again, but script is now under sole control of Steve Oedekerk (having 2 colleagues in Bruce).
Do we get a rehash of the first story ? Only a bit (the discovery part, of course). After that, we go a slightly different path, but it seems obvious with only one writer, sometimes he can go into a wrong direction and keep going, with no one to alert you you’re going off-road.
And that’s actually where it’s heading. The story is simplistic and predictable, and can be fully described in just one line. There’s nothing extra built around it. The jokes are also not inventive enough, nor does the drama hit any emotional strings.
Does that mean this most expensive comedy ever made is totally lost on you ? Well, there are a handful of simple jokes to laugh at, and Wanda Sykes is a riot, as always. The visual effects are also there, with a pace quick enough not to bore you. But in contrast, it’s still a bit of a disappointment.6½.

In reply to a comment on my previous post why I was surfing on that site. Well, I got one free lottery ticket in one of those Christmas gift packages, so I signed up and actually never took the time to sign off (write an official letter and stuff). So now, for €8.50 per month, I hope that 50% goes to good charity, as the website assures me.
But the website is up and running again, and behold this page:

Send me that prize certificate soon (the sooner the better, summer might be over before we know it), so I can collect my delicate prize, probably half a liter of Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra !

All cable networks seem to be outputting new shows this summer, and so does Spike TV, a network I have no affinity for. Splashing with big names made me curious (Donnie Whalberg, John Leguizamo). Sure, their premier show Blade seemed high budget, but disappointed badly. Now is another chance.
Well, the result is so appalling and shocking, it might never recover from it and hence never watch a show Spike TV produces again. What we have here is highly amateur-ish, something the BBC will easily surpass in quality on an equally low budget.
So, why would I say low budget ? Well, most TV shows on any network are able to give it a film-ic quality. But this show doesn’t seem to care or they’re unable to, because they use lightweight camera’s that just don’t seem to be able to stop shaking. Lighting and sound further reveal it’s made on smaller budget than your average YouTube short. If that wasn’t horrible enough, the acting is laughable and the story and dialogue just brain damaging awful.
Stay away from this one, if you want a proper hostage situation, watch the remainder of the canceled series The Nine on ABC. At least they have everything there what they don’t have here (that included cinematography, story, acting, and everything that makes TV series great).

Jason Bourne comes out of hiding to make a box office splash, recording the best numbers for an August opening yet. The Bourne Ultimatum hands off a not so secretly $70.2 million, riding on a wave of superb critical reviews (85 points on metacritic).
Meanwhile, the Simpsons 2D cartoon takes a steep dive, with a 65% drop coming in at $25.6 million. Still it easily passed the $100 million mark, the cume now at $128.5 million in its second week.
A new entry at number 3, Disney’s Underdog doesn’t impress much, with just $12 million. Rounding out the top 5 is I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry with $10.5 million and Hairspray with $9.3 million.

This is the first Comedy Central movie to be released wide, and that’s probably a good choice. Two years ago, Strangers with Candy had a limited release, and the strange nature of that comedy isn’t for anyone. This movie though, is quite accessible, combining unpredictable sketches with goofy characters. Problem though is, the most good and unpredictable stuff, was already in the trailer. In the movie itself, there’s basically nothing left to surprise us with, hence leaving the big laughs out of reach. Besides the skit-like nature, there is a tiny story wrapped around it, but it’s not much. So here’s just a grade for not being boring.6.

A new website eh ? And they’re even willing to detail all the new improvements ?

Et voila, here’s the improvement:

Anywayz, can’t check if I won anything this month, I mean, c’mon, isn’t it about time ? Even Bernoulli’s Principle combined with the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle says I should’ve won at least 18 times by now.

AND FOR YOU GEEKS: NO, I don’t use IE, it’s just nicer for screenshot purposes.

Writer/director Brad Bird missed out a bit with his first Pixar Studios release, The Incredibles, 3 years ago. Sure it was entertaining, but lacked the warmth of his first animation The Iron Giant.
His second Pixar/Disney team-up, is a whole other story. Back in with great character design (also missing, or at least, too predictable in The Incredibles), and originality. A bit of unpredictability goes a long way, but the direction has also improved by a great margin. Great point-of-view shots keeps it interesting, with many sizzling hot chase scenes for excitement and superb atmospheric lighting amplifying the romantic Parisian feeling.
Mixing vermin rats with exotic food is an utterly bad and disgusting idea, but how this movie is presented, it’s as exquisite as the imagined prepared dishes on-screen.8½.

A new medical drama airing on TNT, starring Treat Williams in yet another “doctor” role. Fresh off the train from the idyllic Everwood, he’s back to being full-time surgeon in an organ transplant specialising hospital. And of course, would we dare call this a drama without the mandatory neglected kid. Throw in an ex-wife who happens to be one of your closest colleague (organ donor liaison), and let the doc frolic around with a nurse. Enough drama for you ?
I can tell you, it’s not. Drama comes from the dying patient, and the joyous recepient. Which means, another fresh case every week. Personal drama is just a side note, inconsistent and and usually just put in to add something to the patient story. There doesn’t seem to be any follow up at all, and even then, it would probably be one-dimensional. Throwing in a “I see dead people” thing for the main character, is another weakness, as for the past few years, I can name five shows that already have done that (Haunted, Ghost Whisperer, Raines, Medium, Tru Calling. I.E. IT’S GETTING OLD !!!).
And lastly, with such a title, this show is particularly cold. Here’s one for a speedy return of Grey’s Anatomy, and hoping the spin-off, Private Practice, will deliver (and even if it doesn’t, Grey will continue to dominate Thursday night anyways).

The Simpsons Movie might be the most lucrative deal this summer, being a simple 2D cartoon with only primary colors (still a budget of about $65 million though), but earning it all right back in the first week of release. With an opening weekend of $74 million, you can buy enough donuts and beer for Homer to last for a few decades.
The somewhat weak comedy I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, still manages a second place in its second week, bringing in $19.1 million. Following the 3 and 4 place is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and Hairspray, both dropping one spot with resp. $17.7 million and 15.9 million.
Rounding out the top 5 is the second new release of this week, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart starrer No Reservations. With $11.7 million, they just might have benefitted from calling ahead anyway (though they’ll probably recover from their $28 million budget before the movie ends its run).

With a less than stellar start in 2005, my expectations weren’t that high for this sequel. So things I didn’t expect, like character development and a smart story, weren’t there to be again.
What was there, was another fast-paced story, filled with funny bits and acceptable special effects extravaganza. And without boredom, there’s no time to wonder about the simplicity of the whole, and you just keep sticking pop-corn in your mouth. In that sense, it’s another success, still not fantastic, but pretty good.7½.

The trailer will show this movie isn’t one of the best in its league, and so the movie follows the same trend. Just basically a simple story filled with the most easy jokes around, from mediocre vulgar slang, to predictable gay-tinted dialogue. Direction isn’t the best I’ve seen either, rushing through scenes, fitting as many weak jokes in the roughly 100 minutes as possible. The preachy nature, and the misplaced sentiment during the end finishes it off, enough to sigh and just forget about the whole ordeal ever existed (especially an extremely unfunny Rob Schneider, but then again, Steve Buscemi was pretty funny).4-.