The new Lion is supposed to have a new bite eh ? Well, trust me, if you want to try it out, just because Anouk is yellin’ it on TV, DON’T !!! It’s practically the same. I just ate 5 of’m, I’m _PRETTY_ sure.
Really nothing going on this weekend, so here a quote from a famous dude, but keep in mind, I said it first ! (See my post a few days earlier)
Mikko Hypponen, Antivirus Research Director for F-Secure:
“I’ve lost my faith in education. It never helps, people will never learn…. They will click on everything”
Just a tiny bit more subtle than how I put it. Oh right, he earns money with it. That’s why.
Really nothing going on, so let’s continue my obsessionist talk about breasts.
If the Janet Jackson “wardrobe malfunction” happened here with a Dutch lady, on Dutch TV, we’d either shrug it off or laugh out loud and move on. Not so in the States. There are the current consequences:
– Investigation by the FCC. Micheal Power, the current chairman ordered a “thorough and swift” investigation into this matter. Right, they’re gonna torture Janet so they can find out if she did it on purpose or not.
– Grammy line-up has been changed. Janet is not welcome back at the CBS studios (the Super Bowl was also aired by the CBS network) to sing during the show. Her male accomplice/suspect, a certain mr. J.T. is still scheduled to perform (dang, I could’ve replaced him easily y’know).
– MTV, who produced the NFL half time show, might lose its contract with CBS.
Then of course, you have all the concerned Women Groups blabalbalbaablabla pronograpshiblabalbalbal.
And all that, just because of a 30 nanosecond reveal of the most beloved part of the human body (in my mind). And also, this wouldn’t have happened if all those “important” people who find it so disgusting WOULD JUST STOP PRESSING PAUSE AND REWIND ON THEIR VCR !!!
(TiVo announced this was the most replayed moment in the history. Hah, didn’t know your hardware was being monitored eh ?)
That Timberlake dude really has it all, doesn’t he ? First he gets Britney, then a few other blondes and dancer types. And let’s not forget Cameron Diaz. Yeah. Weew. Hoohhow.
And now, he has Janet Jackson, ripping off a piece of clothe during the Super Bowl half time performance, leaving her right pierced nipple and breast open for the world to see (Approximately 140 million Americans, live, to be exact). The show off !
I already have his looks and his voice AND his moves. If only I had his life.
Oh, btw, the one who gives me the best picture or link for this event, wins eh a uhmm *hug*.
MyDoom.A versus SCO group (1 – 0) (the website was knocked out completely. This will probably continue till the 12th Feb until the code stops working, unless they figure out a really reeeeeeeeeeeaally smart way to get around this).
Tomorrow’s match: MyDoom.B versus Microsoft. How much on who are you betting ?
Update 03-02-2004 10.53 : The dumbest country of the world still hasn’t come online yet, but it looks like the microsoft websites are still running ! Better find a way to earn myself 10 euros fast.
Update 03-02-2004 18.53 : 3 Feb all around the world. Also past 9 a.m. everywhere, the brainless typists are already at work. But… the microsoft sites are still working like a breeze. Guess I lost my monthly salary to a lousy bet.
Well, life is going well in Israel, Egypt, Iraque and the other countries in that neighborhood, so let’s nominate some people for the Nobel Prize for Peace 2004. Bush en Blair !!! Why not let them team up and give them a hip name, like B-Squared or something ? Naah, just kidding. People think it’s weird, but they forgot they were actually nominated in 2002 already ! The nominators must’ve thought that the world must’ve progressed a lot since then.
Ever wondered how long a succesful relationship can last ? Till the money question pops up, of course. Steve Jobs wants more money this time, so his Pixar Studios has broken off their 10 year long relationship with Disney. This year’s The Incredibles, and next year’s Cars, and then it’s over. No Toy Story 3, no Monsters Inc 2, nor will there be a Finding Nemo 2. Well, maybe there will be, but it will be done a bit more differently, that’s for sure (most of the creativity comes from the Pixar Studio guyz, let’s be honest).
Many regard him as the devil, others as an ubernerd. But to Queen Elizabeth of the UK, he is a real sir. Under a special rule, non British can receive an honorary knighthood (like before him, Steven Spielberg and presidents Bush and Reagan), and that’s what Bill Gates is gonna get. For his many contributions to the UK enterprise, employement and charity.
Ah well, I already called him sir anyway (let’s face it, without him I’d probably still be an unemployed lazy student).
Better watch out, Bill set a $250.000 reward on the head of the guy who wrote the MyDoom.B virus/worm (the original A version targets SCO anywayz). Currently beating the crap out of Sobig and MSBlaster, it’s gonna reign the charts for quite some time. Why ? Because most people are still DUMB. And most most DUMB country ? The United States of America. Roughly just 3% of the world population (correct me if I’m wrong), a big cut, hold your breath, THIRTY FIVE PERCENT, yes 35% of the current outbreaks originate from the US. They are the most dumb and click happy people (and don’t tell me it’s an accident, because you need FOUR mouseclicks to get infected, and even if those are accidents, you’re still stupid. And if you open executables on Kazaa, which only requires 2 clicks, you’re stupid too).
And while you may argue that they probably have the highest percentage of people online, it’s also online where you get warned first. Not to mention, read the paper lately ? Watch the news on the telly ?
So, if eventually the maker of MyDoom will be caught, it will turn out it was probably a scientist trying to map the IQ of the world demographically.
Somehow, this GenX MP3 Player/USB Stick 128 MB fell into my lap. This got me thinking… I already have some 64 MB on my iPAQ, which I upgraded with a 256 MB Secure Digital card, and I already had a normal 256 MB USB stick in my pocket. This totals to some 704 MB I wear with me almost all the time. I’ms sure even the Six Million Dollar Man wasn’t equipped that well, and can do nothing but be envious of me.
So, to build up some new never gauged before statistics, how much do you pack normally ?
Yeah, it’s official, I’m really off the hook now. Regarding my post a few days earlier, this is their SUPER-lightning-jaw-dropping fast reply:
Betreft: UPC niet aansprakelijk Mwhahhaa, what a way to start a letter. Must be company policy, coz I didn’t accuse them of anything (not directly, anywayz) in the first place. All I asked for was a confirmation.
Geachte meneer, mevrouw Ung,
Naar aanleiding van uw brief van 21 januari jongstleden waarin u een verzoek indiende met betrekking tot het ontvangen van bevestiging omtrent uw zaak. Graag uw aandacht voor het volgende. Yeah well, I’m all ears.
Wij hebben uw brief in goede orde ontvangen. Only because I faxed AND mailed them.
Wij kunnen bevestigen dat wij uw klacht gegrond verklaren (coulance overweging). Het openstaande bedrag ad 87.48 hebben wij verrekend per 14 januari 2004. Aan de betalingsverplichting is voldaan en beschouwen deze zaak als gesloten. Took you ONLY TWO YEARS !! Coulance my ass.
Wij hopen u hiermee voldoende te hebben geinformeerd. Mocht u desondanks nog vragen hebben dan kunt u bellen met ons Contact Center op het telefoonnummer 0900 1580 (0,10per/min). Deze afdeling is bereikbaar van maandag tot en met vrijdag tussen 8.00 en 19.00 uur. Onze medewerkers staan u graag te woord. Not true, but luckily, I’ll never have to speak to them again.
Met vriendelijk groet,
UPC Nederland
Harald Kolmer
Regiodirecteur Regio Zuid Guess I’ll have to give them credit for this. They _did_ honor my request, that this should be signed by an high-up cheating bastard !
… mostly The Return of the King. Taking home the statues for best Picture/Drama and Director.
Other well deserved awards went to:
Original Song: Into the West – Annie Lennox for The Return of the King
Original Score: Howard Shore for The Return of the King
Screenplay – Sofia Coppola – Lost in Translation
Picture – Musical or Comedy – Lost in Translation
Actor – Musical or Comedy – Bill Murray in Lost in Translation
TV – Drama – 24
TV – Musical or Comedy – The Office (BBC) (first non-America to be nominated, first non-American to win)
Actor in TV – Musical or Comedy – Ricky Gervais in The Office (BBC)
Should’ve won too:
Actor: Kiefer Sutherland for 24 or Willam Peterson for CSI (beat out by stiff emotionless Anthony LaPlagia for Without a Trace)
Actress: Scarlett Johannsson for Lost in Translation/Girl with a Pearl Earring (beat out by Diane Keaton)
After many days of negotiation, I had to resort to extortion, blackmail, and my other enigmatic personal qualities.
But here is it, a sale. Although a small one, coz the cheapo buyer is going to re-use a lot of stuff. This will teach him:
Well, it seems I’m finally off the hook. After 2 years of fighting, the nightmare seems over. ‘Cept, I’m not totally sure. Read a few excerpts of my problems and complaints here.
So, the saying goes, don’t wake up sleeping dogs. Well, sleeping dogs that keep sleeping will eventually die. Horribly. Do the math, I’m a nice guy. So, here goes:
Geachte UPC,
Heden ontving ik een brief van de u en mij welbekende 3de partij Intrum Justitia. Ik quote:
”
Den Haag, 20-01-2004
Geachte mevrouw/heer.
In bovenstaande zaak kunt u de door ons verzonden aanmaning als “niet verzonden” te beschouwen.
Onze opdrachtgever heeft ons inmiddels verzocht de zaak te sluiten.
Wij bieden u onze excuses aan voor de eventuele ontstane overlast.
Hoogachtend,
Intrum Justitia
”
Elk normaal mens zou een luid vreugdekreet slaken en de zaak inderdaad als gesloten beschouwen. Ik ben anders, helaas. Met een gezond verstand, houd ik mijn adem nog altijd, spreekwoordelijk, in.
Ik vertel u, mijn psychiater heeft mij gediagnoseerd als zijnde lijdend aan aan UPC-complex. Een nieuw maar ondertussen ingeburgerd term. Mijn collega, moet u weten, had voor zowel zichzelf als voor bekenden UPC/Chello Internet via de Kabel aangevraagd. Problemen alom. Ook Intrum Justitia komt hier ter sprake. Ook onterecht. U raadt het nooit, maar een paar weken geleden vertelde hij me dat hij door zijn psychiater (niet dezelfde als de mijne) was gediagnoseerd met, en echt, u raadt het nooit, een UPC-complex. Maar ik wijk van mijn echte doel af.
Mijn ervaringen zijn over het algemeen genomen, allemaal slecht. Dus daarom wilde ik na de torenhoge kosten die de afgelopen 2 jaar zijn gemaakt, graag nog een postzegel besteden om een allerlaatste brief van u te ontvangen.
Mijn angst gaat vooral uit naar, bijvoorbeeld:
– U heeft Intrum Justitia verzocht de zaak te sluiten, MAAR u heeft een gemenere bulldog in de startblokken klaarstaan.
– Op een later tijdstip neem ik een ander product van u af (bijv. UPC Digital of Cinenova), en door een systeemfout komt alles weer opborrelen. Weer 2 jaar lang torenhoge fax/telefoon/brief kosten en de meekomende slapeloze nachten.
Mijn vraag is dus simpel. Graag een laatste brief, het liefst ondertekend door een hoge functionaris binnen uw bedrijf, ter bevestiging dat de zaak echt gesloten is. Deze kan ik dan inlijsten, en hoef ik hopelijk er nooit meer uit te halen (u weet wel, als bewijs, mocht er ooit een vervolg komen op de net afgelopen nachtmerrie). Het feit blijft dat ik eigenlijk geld terug moet krijgen i.p.v. geld moet betalen, maar dat terzijde. Liever een frisse start, dan een buidel vol met geld, zeggen we maar.
Met bonkend hart, verblijf ik,
KaNam Ung
Btw, don’t expect an answer soon, usually it takes 3+ months.
This happened today…
Imagine you’re a frenchman with 2 kilo’s of drugs on ya. You’re on the Rotterdam Central Station waiting for the train back to France. Then two cops appear. You get nervous. Not knowing there’s a no-smoke rule, you fire up a cig. Ai. The cops see you smoking. They’re moving towards you. Then they start talking to ya. Something about a fine. They start the paperwork, and they want some ID. Nervous as you are, you hand them your fake passport. Now they’re really pissed. Off you go…downtown police station. One stripsearch later, and you’re two kilo’s lighter.
And that’s in a country where we have dumb Belgian jokes. That must hurt.