Kimputer's Weblog

Luckily, these days, you don’t see many satires. This is one of a few, and it’s an ultra-light version (maybe it has something to do with the aging Frank Oz). It’s so light, it barely touches any ground. And when it touches the ground, it’s about simple matters you wouldn’t spend 2 seconds of thought on. The story itself holds no surprises either, even a child could tell you what will happen next. Then again, the child will be fast asleep, as the tediousness kicks in. With no thrills whatsoever, and no jokes to spare, the only thing left to do is look around you, trying to figure out if this weak piece of motion picture evokes any unpredicted response in an elderly’s clogged up heart. That said, there weren’t any 80+ people in the theatre, but they would probably the only ones to enjoy this soulless satire.4-.

Like a true Hero, Jet Li kicks ass at the box office with a much delayed release of Oscar/Golden Globe nominee Foreign Language 2003. $17.8 million earns a top spot for the nameless warrior.
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid still managed to open at number 2, with $13.2 million, even when all top reviewers chewed it out, and spit it back.
Without a Paddle, loses speed, naturally, ending up at number 3 with $8.7 million. At number 4, with $8.1 million, The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement is still doin’ great business. At number 5, Exorcist: The Beginning probably doesn’t scare anyone anymore, with only $6.7 million.

In a true Ben Stiller fashion, this movie is a light-hearted comedy with all the bells and whistles to make it stand out just above the average. Well-defined characters moves the film to a satisfactory end at a comfortable pace. In a crowded market without that many all-round comedies, this is certainly a welcome fresh breeze.7½.

When a movie starts off with a bar dancing Ashley Judd, hopes can rise through the roof. An established actress like her, the mystery on screen is a difficult one to figure out. And I don’t mean the serial killer in the story, I mean Ashley actually reading the script, and choosing this role. The trailer makes it look like the next Seven wannabe, but it doesn’t even come near a bad episode of Profiler. If Ashley does method acting, I wonder in which Alzheimer’s Institute she’s been. (What follows here might be considered as a breaking of my sacred non-spoiler reviewing rule, but for a bad movie like this, it wouldn’t make any difference). I wonder what goes around in her head when she has to act suprised again, after not the second, not the third, but the FIFTH time she drinks from her drugged wine and dozes off, only to wake up in shock, AGAIN. What a waste of talent. For now, I see writer Sarah Thorp has nothing lined up for the future, and I hope it stays that way. Let’s drink some drugged wine to that.3½.

As exciting it is to see Halle Berry in a tight leather clad, the rest of the movie is certainly not. Pitof’s focus on the CGI city skyline, and fly-by left-right swinging camera moves clearly shows he chose visuals above content. A big mistake, as a short Axe commercial provides better story and more entertainment. The dialogues are cold and unmeaningful, and the schizo Patience/Catwoman character is not worth an Oscar winning actress’ time. While there are more movies in this “miss” catagory, most are still watcheable, but this one has an underlying boredom creeping out slowly, thereby winning an “avoid at all cost” title.3+.

Almost needless to say, M. Night Shyamalan does it again. Like his previous movies, he combines a rich history with a bit of drama and humor, while the scare factor builds up slowly in the background. Instead of the mindless scare movies you’ve seen lately, mr. Shyamalan builds the scare from the inside, with cunning psychologically tricks, which are at least consequent (with some help from well-cued sound effects, and a score by James Newton Howard). As always, some people will not like the surprise ending, but even then, it’s still has been a movie to enjoy.8-.

I always liked Kevin Smith, and this movie would prove his worthiness indefinitely (again writing and directing it all by himself, while helping with producing and editing), as this is the first movie to break away from his usual strange comedy style. Not surprising that he takes a veteran to star (Ben Affleck starred in many Kevin Smith movies) in this break-away stunt. Ben is, of course, besides a capable actor, a natural charmer, making him a perfect fit for this movie. Starring as his kid, is big eyed adorable Raquel Castro, another perfect fit for the role. Add to that Liv Tyler, with her disarming smile and attitude, as a potential love interest, and it’s almost complete (other minor characters are quite acceptable too). To complete it, there are quite few funny cameos thrown in.
They all play out a simple story, which would’ve been bad, if Kevin didn’t flesh it out with meaty dialogue. He doesn’t even shy away from a few cliches here and there, which would have been bad, if he didn’t throw in a few thought provoking subjects in the mix. He even proves he has good tear jerking qualities. In the end, all is well, and change isn’t a bad thing after all. I’d say, serve up The Green Hornet and Fletch Won whenever you’re ready.7½.

Bad reviews from everywhere, even some streaming in from outerspace through the SETI satellites, didn’t stop Alien vs. Predator from making bigger bugs, I mean bucks, than their previous solo movies. Alien 3 topped at $19.5 million, while Predator did it with $12 million. Teamed up together though, they’re good for $38.3 million.
Second place is for Princess Diaries 2: The Royal Engagement. It’s every young girls’ dream, so it earns a hefty $23.0 million. Collateral drops to number 3, though only a 35% drop, with $16.0 million. For young boys, there was Yu-Gi-Oh!, another Japanese trading card thingy, i.e. another major headache for parents. A $9.4 million headache, to be exact. Good enough for a number 4 spot.

The outline, King Arthur in a more realistic setting and way of storytelling, seems like a smart move. It has not been done before, and a darker tone could be a benefit to attract more adult customers. The high expectations though, are not met. If at all, it’s just mildly entertaining. How the story is set up, there’s no room for drama nor exploration of the many characters (only Arthur’s character has a less simple outline, but it’s still not much). The story seems to move too fast, yet it doesn’t progress at all. Most battles don’t have any tension leading up, and the outcome is no surprise either. They’re also not extraordinarily shot nor is it any more bloody than beyond the acceptable. Hans Zimmer’s score is dramatic now and then, but it’s not overly exciting, nor is there a theme to identify this film by. With everything so middle of the road, most viewers (the males of course) have the mesmerising beauty of Keira Knightley to lead them to the exit, but the other half will go home pretty disappointed. It’s not fair to put the blame on Antoine Fuqua though, an otherwise standard actioner (though with an extremely well-done Training Day under his belt), so the usually insightful Jerry Bruckheimer has to deservedly take the full heat.7-.

While a Michael Mann/Tom Cruise partnership sounds exciting to me, the US Box Office shows otherwise. Cruise/Foxx starrer Collateral steals some $24.4 million of bloodmoney in this hitman movie.
Second this week, is The Village, dropping an heartache inducing 67% (for Disney, that is), only $16.6 million.
Third is Bourne Supremacy with $14.1 million, followed by The Manchurian Candidate with $10.8 million.
At number 5, Brittany Murphy proves she can’t carry a movie all by herself yet, opening Little Black Book with just $7.0 million.

Fearing for another Isaac Asimov copy, as seen in many sci-fi episodes, I was luckily surprised. The story is a bit bigger, and a little more intricate. Almost a one man show (for Will Smith, that is), this movie mixes story, mystery, suspense, nicely blendgin special effects, action, and a bit of humor. It’s not all perfect though, the acting is a bit stiff, and here and there you have a feeling the story has skipped a few scenes. Nonetheless, it’s very entertaining.8.

M. Night Shyamalan does it again, though this time without the help of most of the renowned reviewers. With $50.8 million, it means Disney can let out a sigh of relief, though the bombs of lately are still marginally higher then their successes this year.
Still spying hard is mister Jason Bourne himself, his Supremacy chapter earns $23.4 million in its second week.
Within Denzel’s 20-something range track record, The Manchurian Candidate opens with $20.2 million, good enough for number 3.
Not so futuristic anymore is I, Robot at number 4, with $10.1 million.
Biggest disappointment this week, not even in the top 10, a black spot on Jonathan Frakes’ record, is Thunderbirds, with $2.7 million. Guess he shouldn’t have taken a stiff upperlips’ toy series to show the world.

Waaaaaaaah, it’s true, the robots ARE really coming. Of course, Will Smith’s I, Robot was the first, but heading for Earth this year too is Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie) (which will fail, by the way, judging from the trailer). After that, in 2005, we have Robots (CGI animatied, voiced by Ewan McGregor, Halle Berry). Robots were also already seen in Star Wars, so Episode III should have loads of’m too. A smaller role for a robot will be in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Not really a robot is Iron Man, but he sure as hell looks like one.
Then there’s a robot movie that may never roll to the theatres (high probability for direct-to-video) called Chrome. Which comes from low budget company Pendragon Pictures which incidentally goes bigger budget with Dreamworks Pictures to develop War of the Worlds with Spielberg/Cruise. And last but not least, it’s the Dreamworks/Spielberg combo that bought the rights for a new Transformers movie, and these can disguise themselves as cars, trucks and airjets ! Scared yet ?

Mystery surrounding Jason Bourne’s past made the Matt Damon starring Bourne Supremacy movie soar at the box office, with $53.5 million, almost double the opening of the original Bourne Identity.
Second is Will Smith, still doin’ well with I, Robot, a respectable $22.1 million.
Third was a certain cat, delivered almost dead. With $17.2 million, largely due to all-out bad reviews, I can assure you Catwoman has very little life left, let alone nine.
At number 4, Spidey is still able to web some $15 million in.

So, is it plain and simple propaganda or is it top journalism ? It’s probably both. Michael Moore’s earned respect years ago, making sharp and interesting documentaries, yet injecting his personal sense of humor in it that it he keeps it lighthearted and pushing his genre more towards the entertainment stream. Like Bowling for Columbine, this movie is not so very different. Spearheaded by obscure facts, underlined with his comments, he covers multiple angles. Images range from funny (behind camera footage) to the gritty ones (usually covered by news programs) pulling you right back to this hars reality.
While drenched with Moore’s comments, it’s not all that new (come on, honest, have you ever seen Bush say something _really_ intelligent on-screen ?). In the end, even if you don’t like the biased comments, you still have to face the facts.7½.