Review: Fergie – The Dutchess

Usually I don’t review something recommended by someone other than myself. But it’s been a while since lazy ass Bern uttered something online, and I hoped the low calory Ramadan diet might have cleared up his brains a bit.
It did not. His recommendation was bust. Then again, I should’ve known beforehand. I mean, it’s written in the Koran. It states any disc jockey willing to put London Bridge on the airwaves, should be dragged behind a horse, by his ears. Allah is going to get him soon, as proof is online here and here.
Most of this album is the same. That irritating semi-rapping under a simple sample mixed with an overbearing bass track. That’s not called music, that’s called troish (trashy noise or noisy trash, take your pick). Can I use make up words as I go along ? Yeah, the Dutchess isn’t in the dictionary either. I just gave her the benefit of the doubt, hoping it would have something to do with my home country. Granted, a lot of influences can be heard. Besides the lot of hip hop, there’s is an Aguilera-style ballad (*snore*), there’s reaggea and some tough chick rock.
Ah well, my playlist is now 2 songs richer (the poppy Big Girls Don’t Cry, and R&B style All That I Got, coz at least she uses her voice properly there ), and that just saves her from a red grade.5-.

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