*Shocked*
By now, you must’ve heard of her. Ashlee Simpson. You know, the sister of. No, no Bart, you dumbass, Jessica. Anyways, with a sister like that, it’s not that hard to work your way through the music industry, and now, she ends up with nr. 1 album, filled with gritty pop-rock. So, I was just about to review it, when I caught a few seconds of last week’s Teen Choice Awards, where she collected quite a few awards. Then I saw her live performance. And I lost my appetite.
As you may or may not know, I almost value live performances more than the recorded music, and most of the music I listen to, have been tested for that. I even hear a bad live performer from quite a distance (due to the level of vocal processing when recording songs). A list of what I predicted (and later proved correctly) ranges from Madonna (not really good) to Jessica Folcker (pretty bad) to any random Spice Girl (terrible) to Enrique Iglesias (unbearable). But Ashlee, if needed a grade, would end up sub-zero. My jaw dropped to the ground, as I saw the audience enjoying it. Where those kids deaf ? Was the show sponsored by a big hearing aid company ?
But why am I blaming the children, what about me ? If I couldn’t have predicted this, what have become of my highly valued ultra-sensitive ears ? I’d better start performing a frequency range testing procedure on myself.