Kimputer's Weblog

With only one super hit two years ago (Superman, in 2002. And it wasn’t even a hit here, just in the States), we haven’t really gotten a chance to know them that well. Well, here was the chance, as it recently entered the charts in the lower regions. As it turns out, it kinda deserves that place. The usually soft rocky songs on this album, are just too weird to put it in words. In more than half of the songs, I was thinking aloud “What THE HELL is this ?”. With just a twinge of jazziness attached to most of the songs, my mind is made up more easily. This album can be found filed away under the catagory “DELETED”.3+.

This album can be roughly divided into 3 catagories. The first is the heavy on the guitar kind, high on shouting, low on impact. Obviously, these are the first to be removed from my playlist. Then there’s the upbeat, easy listening, happy sing-a-long kind of songs. Good enough for a resident stay on my playlist. And then, the most important one, the last catagory. The kind with deep lyrics, they’re very emotional, and sometimes even chilling to the bone (for instance Tuesday Morning). As mentioned earlier, these songs combine the best with her rough and deep yet silky voice. While the first single Breathe is the best song on this album, every single one of the last catagory are easily picked out and graded as good to very good. And also, luckily, it’s this last catagory that wins in numbers. These all deserve an instant spot on my vast array of portable music players. Combined with the second catagory, it’s not a perfect album, but probably one of the best this year.8+.

EMI Records couldn’t be happier, with this new album soaring to the top of the album charts. Too bad I can’t share that happiness. What happened 2 years ago, happened again. I knew it would be jazzy. I knew it would be kinda of slow. I didn’t know the side effect. More effective than a dozen tranquilizer darts that animal hunters use, it put me to sleep in less than 6 minutes. As I braced myself for this album, it happened again… 5 minutes. The reviewing routines (listening at least a few time before judging) cannot be finished, Lord knows how hard I’ve tried. Honestly though, I couldn’t seperate this album from her debut album, and I challenge anyone who can.

It is as I feared. The first single, Slow, featured a heavy dance beat, with not much of lyrics or melody to it. It was even irritating. Then comes the second single, Red Blooded Woman. A nice swing-beat, that is worthy of a Hype Williams directed video clip. She even lets me remember that she can carry a tune. Now the curiosity is on. But how disappointed am I after listening to the other twelve tracks (or ten, if you don’t have the bonus tracks). Every single one features the feared heavy dance beat, combined with some kind of creepy variation of her voice. No melody, no soul, and definitely no highlight.2.

Yupz, it is as I feared. No Grammy’s for Matchbox Twenty, Faith Hill or even Shania Twain. Look at the winners list here.
Winners are for instance:
Justin Timberlake got a few statues. Didn’t know there was a yelling screaming teen girl section in the jury.
Evanananannannosense. Guess there’s a granny section too. Without batteries to power their hearing aid.
Outkast. Irritating.
Luther Vandross has a few too. No offence, he’s a great singer, but his album is BOOHOOOORING.

Totally lost my faith.

Melissa Etheridge’s new single Breathe marks the upcoming release of her album Lucky in February. Somehow dropping off the radar early nineties, I think this is the comeback we’ve been waiting for (having released many albums since her poppy entrance in 1989). Judging from just this single, the current rockier style mixes better with her heavy voice (I think she doesn’t shy away from few packs of cigs every day), bringing out more power and subtlety. With the vulnerable lyrics, it’s a combination noone can ignore (‘cept if the volume of your radio is set too low, you might think a guy is singing).

Due to a tiny mishap (a server re-arranging its packets), I ended up with this album on my harddisk. What a waste of magnetic energy that was. Mostly rough guitar sessions, but also some slower ones with only a piano or light guitar and a bass riff, they all irritate the eardrums. It brings out pure and untainted rage, up to a point where you want to grab the throat of the singer and strangle the non-caring tinny uneven voice that would only have a purpose as a torture method for your neighbours.2-.

This year’s World Idol title went to Kurt Nilsen from Norway, finishing ahead of million selling US’ Kelly Clarkson and British Will Young. So what to do if this Norwegian album falls in your lap ? Well, try not to let his “A Beautiful Day” performance that won him the (pretty much meaningless) World Idol title (a one-time show to attract some extra money for the show’s creators) influence me. But, since his voice resembles U2’s Bono a lot, and he wrote a few songs that also resembles U2 older material too, I couldn’t help myself. The whole album falls between soft rock and easy listening, with only 2 or 3 songs I could use to persuade any random person. The up-tempo rhythm with simple lyrics alone is enough to satisfy the choice unconscience people. The more picky ones (like me) will find it too generic (especially since 2 of the 12 tracks are covers, Ordinary World and She’s So High, a step I wouldn’t recommend anyone winning any contest that started out with covers anyway). Nonetheless, no one can deny this album fits very well in the background of a store or office environment, or in a phone queue. For that alone, it deserve a grade somewhere around average.7-

Let’s see what all this fuss is all about. This year’s UK Idol winner, despite being a big-boned woman, shook up the charts by jumping to number one from nowhere. This got her a Guinness Book of Records entry with being the first Scottish lady doin’ that to the UK Charts.
But what about the music ? Well, not very distinct. A slick production with some bonus point for sing-along-ability. But that’s about everything I can say about it. Lyrics are pretty standard too. So standard actually, I can’t even tell if it’s personal or not. She must work pretty hard if she wanna stay in the game a bit longer.

With 2 hits on their resume already, one cannot escape the curiosity of taking a peek into their debut album. Well, debut as in mainstream, having released 2 already. As the title says, and a few other track names, this album leans a bit towards funk, and second to jazz, that’s exactly how you can get me ticked off. The record company made a wise choice releasing the melodieus Where is the Love and Shut Up first, as they probably wouldn’t have made a dent in the billboard charts otherwise. Those kind are not to be found on the rest of the CD. A bit more experimenting with short melodies has gone awry, as too short a melody is no melody at all, with some so irritating you praise the Lord for having bought the album.4+.

So I thought, what the heck, it’s just a nasal voice. Let her start with a clean slate. That slate, wasn’t clean for long. Her nasal voice still stings me, and she’s even experimenting with a deliberate high voice (which isn’t a success). Some more experimental percussions are used in most song, but why experiment if you can’t make a good normal song first ? I’ll grant her this, the overall feeling of the album is a good mood with happy tunes for most people, though it’s still an irritating mood with irritating tunes for me personally. The song Try comes most closely to a normal song, but still fails. I predict it will fall in good taste with people who like her previous work, but for me, it’s not palatable at all.3.

Highly critically acclaimed, and even chosen as album of the year here and there. Being a double CD, there must be something in it for me, right ? Wrong, it’s double the boredom, double the aggravation. Totalling at 39 tracks (19 for Andre 3000, 20 for Big Boi), there are a handful of intros, interludes and such, leaving you with a still high 30 full songs. Ranging from jazzy songs, mixed with some high speed rap to the samples-heavy scratching, they ALL have something irritating to it. I’d probably rip someone’s hi-fi installation apart if I’d hear one of those songs again, so to be safe, I deleted all tracks from my hard disk, with a sector wipe to follow.1+.

Once, they had a few mainstream hits. I could live with that. Then finally came their self-titled album, so this must be really good. Then I heard a handful of songs, not noticing it, because I kept hearing the same thing. Somehow, they’ve managed to put in the same chorus, same shouts, same guitar riff, same rhythm and same drumbeats in almost every song. (If I put a 5 second excerpt from “Feeling this” and “Violence”, I’d bet you 100 bucks you couldn’t keep them apart, giving you a full minute to think about it). This trend was noticable on their previous albums, and I’m pretty sure I won’t even bother downloading their next one.3-.

Can’t judge what you haven’t tried, so Lord knows, I suffered. Filled with 13 songs, I had to sample each of them in full, _several_ times. I can assure you, that’s no fun. All have a harsh techno dance beat to start with. Then mix in a talkative Britney, a bit of sighing and moaning and another song is finished. Even with the high bpms, it still inspires something between a long nap and a winterlong hibernation. Only 2 tracks come close to being a normal song, but even those are not the wake up call you’re longing for.2.

Have you seen this year’s Grammy Award Nominee List ?
Yupz, take a breath, that’s what I did. It’s filled with mummbling Sean Pauls, 50 cents, and Eminems.
Christina Aguilera’s minimalist clothing line must have impressed the jury too. First timer Kelly Clarkson talks through the first half of her debut song, and finishes the other half with some shouting. That, it seems, is also enough for a Best Vocals nomination. Then for the most mediocre songs of this side of the galaxy, Nickelback gets a few nods too. Didn’t know the jury had some young yelling female teenagers though, Justin Timbermayatreefallonyourhead has a few under his belt too.
Ah well, it ain’t all that bad, the only few nominations I can agree with is Matchbox Twenty, Faith Hill and Shania Twain. If they win a few, I can finally relax a bit. If not, what’s next ? Britney Spears ? *oh wait, noooo, so was nominated last year grmbl whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*